Somewhere Somehow Love Still Exists

   I hate the most that I lost who I was yet again. I cannot seem to understand why I let this happen or how I can just not see myself slipping. It isn't until I'm just missing from myself, and all things I adore slip from my hands that I get the chance to look at what I've become. I don't blame you for falling out of love with me. Like you said, I'm just not the person you fell in love with anymore. 

   No one will ever understand what we are going through and why we are even trying to put the pieces back together, but I don't care. We don't need anyone to. I am forever grateful that he is still able, after time apart, to see who I am buried underneath who I've become and really believe that I will return. This is why I love him so much. No one has ever believed in me the way he has since day one. Because of this, because of everything we are fighting and facing, I know that somewhere, somehow, love still exists.

One day baby, one day we'll have our forever back.  

   

Somewhere... Somehow...

I want my forever back.

And I know you do too.

In time... 

Life

   I have no idea why God chooses to take me for so many spins, but it's been getting a little out of hand in my opinion. He always has something new for me to do and experience. There's always a new lesson to learn and I'm always confused, Whether you're part of my daily life personally, or through social media, you know that my life has taken a HUGE left turn. Things lately haven't been the easiest. I never thought this would happen, though things haven't been perfect lately. It happened though, and surprisingly I'm okay. I was positive that if this ever happened, I'd be face down in a pillow every single day until I just couldn't cry anymore. It has been far from that though. I can't begin to tell you what I've.. WE'VE, learned from this. It's no ones business to be quite honest, so I don't care to share. I just want everyone to know that I am okay. I am happy. I am changed forever.

   Sometimes, a lot of times, we aren't going to understand. It's important to know that we are just simply not built to understand everything. I've held so tightly onto my faith and trust in God... Never once did I lose sight of it even though it was extremely difficult at times. 

   There's beauty in every life event, you just have to have enough drive to find it. 

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to continue being excepting of those spins..

Because any dance with my God is safer than a dance with chance. 

-AJT<3

 

I hope you'll remember me for the good.

If someone were to have asked me anytime in the past years, I would've said that I couldn't live without you... But I am.

 I would've said that we promised forever and always, but you left. 

I would've said that your love for me was strong, but it failed. 

Thinking about it then I would've cried endlessly, but I'm not. 

I'll go on smiling.

Smiling for everything I do have in life, and everything I am gaining back.

You're forever in my heart, in a memory box.

Thank you for everything.

Goodbye.