I feel like physically I'm alive, but in the inside I've never felt so dead. I have so much to be thankful for, and I am very, but I know there's more to life that what I'm living. So where do I go from here? After so many failed attempts, where do I turn to now?
I'm afraid to be alone because my mind is uncontrollable. It takes me to the way things once were and to places I've never been. Some places I wish to see and others I'm terrified to come across.
And 5 months after sitting in the Draft folder....
Wow... how sad it is to read that and yet so beautiful. Why did I not publish it? Perhaps I was ashamed of how unhappy I had become. Sadly looking back I searched for all the wrong answers to fix my life.. "quick fixes" if you will. And they all failed. Not much of a surprise though. I was running from everything real because what was real was painful. My surface was fun, wild, free and seemed happy. My inside was dark with memories replaying and piercing my heart over and over. They ment no harm, they were just trying to remind me of where I belonged. Thankfully, I am almost there.
