Second best.

Is what's best for me best for you? Or is what's best for me wrong for you? If what I believe to be real, is real AND is what is best for me... then it MUST be best for you. So... is this real?

Pretending you don't feel the way that you do is a shame. It should be a sin. Pretending I don't feel the way that I do to keep "peace" is torture. How can I continue to live by my own beliefs and morals if I am following what is best for others in this situation. Am I not worth happiness right now? Who's to say that this isn't right? Marriage isn't part of this day.

I did NOT ask for this. I did NOT want this. Now I can't get enough.

What if I stop pretending before you do? Will you hate me? Will things change? There comes a point in everyones life when you need to stop and think about yourself and no one else. Put away all the what ifs, buts, and could be's. Find your hearts desires and love and respect yourself enough to do everyhing in your power to give yourself what you deserve. Happiness. I deserve it.

Always second best.. And I don't need your sympathy. I know what I'm worth, and it's not the second place ribbon you placed on my heart.

Dear faith, hope, love, and trust.. I stand next to you by the deep water. I believe in you with my whole heart. Don't let me drown.

-AJT