Truth is, I'm constantly screwing up. I suck at making decisions. I hurt people when I do what seems "better" for me in the moment. But at the end of the day, I somehow manage to keep smiling. I make decisions for the moment. And it seems to sometimes bite me in the ass, but in the moment I'm happy. And in the next too. Am I living correctly? Is there even a "correct" way to live? I'll never understand, but I'll keep living in the moment. Hopefully in the long run I'll still be happy.
I'm sorry if I've hurt you, but I'm happy. And I'll never be able to make anyone else happy unless I myself am happy. You should follow.
Different note
I hate what I was brought up in. I hate expecting more than what I have. In some sense I appreciate what I have because either my parents have worked their ass off to give it to me, or I have worked hard to get what I have. But, why did I need a brand new car? Why couldn't I settle for just some car that would get me around? I hate that I put a value on different material things. Don't get me wrong, I'm not high maintenance. I do not NEED luxury things, but I "know" their value. There are people in different countries who would be happy to even have someone to make them smile. They don't need to buy things to entertain them, they will make their own entertainment. I want to know what it's like to have nothing but still feel like I have everything. My daddy calls me crazy all the time, but I would kill to move away to some other country and live in nothing and become something. I want to learn to appreciate what I have even more. I want to move back home and feel rich with just someone to make me smile.
That is all. Peace out.
-AJT
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