I Am Yours

I wrote this yesterday morning in my journal, thought I'd share it with y'all.

   It's 5:16 in the morning and I'm awake. My dog woke me up maybe a little over an hour ago because he needed to pee. Frustrated because I absolutely HATE being woken up, I still take him out. It felt wonderful outside so I decided to take a seat and waited until he was done sniffing and rolling around trying to find a perfect place to empty his bladder. I looked up at the stars and immediately got lost in thought.

It amazes me how great of an artist our God is. Every detail about the setting my dog forced me in was beautiful. The sound, the look, the feel, all of it. Every single one of those stars in the black sky was placed in it's spot for a reason by our amazing God himself. Why? Only he knows. Some are brighter, some sparkle more, some appear bigger or smaller than others, but they're all so beautiful.

   All this thought on the stars got me thinking about the human kind. We were all given different features, different sound of voices, different personalities, and we were all placed in our spots in this world for some purpose. What that purpose is, only He truthfully knows. Each of us are so different, but yet so beautiful in our very own ways. We are all works of art created by Him. I continued thinking, what's my purpose? Who was I created to become? I feel that my heart is in so many places with all of the things that I so dearly love and want to love. Are those things in his plan though?

   I do not deserve to be surrounded with such beauty. I am so many things that He wouldn't be, and I do so many things that He would never do. So why do I still breathe? Why did I wake up today, and yesterday, and hundreds of days ago? Why do I still have a purpose? Though at times these thoughts take over my mind, and at times I may feel unworthy, I am worthy of so much. I am a walking piece of art created by my God. There are plenty of people walking by me in His gallery observing me and passing judgement, but I am a piece of art. Only the artist truthfully knows the meaning and purpose behind his art. And one day, I'll understand it too.

After smiling at the sight of a shooting star, or a meteoroid passing through earths atmosphere, I realized that I've been lost. Observing nature and learning more about life though these things is where my heart's journey first began. This is exactly what makes me happy and keeps me at peace. Where have I been? When did I lose myself...again?

   5:48 in the early, dark, quiet, and peaceful morning. I'm ready to lay my head back down. This time, I'm at peace. Good morning, journal.

-AJT